I've decided to post about my confidence, today, as the title of this post suggests.
I've been told that I carry myself as though I a older than 20, but I fail to fully understand what that means and includes, so I asked. I was given the answer that it is hard to say, but four major factors are confidence, seriousness, intelligence, and sense of purpose. The one that struck me as a bit confusing, for myself, is the confidence bit.
I began thinking. I am a confident person, but have little self-confidence, so I wonder where and how these two types of confidence are different and apply in our lives. I also wonder which I truly have first. To explain, I was wondering if I have confidence, but when I begin to think about myself and others, physically, I lose my self-confidence, OR if I DON'T have any confidence, in any way, including self-confidence, but when I think about myself and others, I gain confidence in certain areas, but not others.
I, personally, think that it is the first of those two options. I think that I am a confident person, but when I begin to think about myself and other people, I lose my self-confidence, but keep other parts of my confidence.
I walk with a sense of purpose because, quite frankly, I don't like wasting my time on things that don't interest me. I am intelligent, even if I lack some education and knowledge in things. I appear serious, at times, too much so, because, often times, nothing around me is entertaining enough to raise an emotion from me. Sometimes, people think I am angry, or sad, or upset in some other way, when I am simply calm and emotionless in the moment and I don't quite understand why, but I believe it is simply due to how my face is built.
So, back to confidence. What is it about me that makes me able to be confident, even when I lack any self-confidence? I have a young-ish face, don't look OLD or anything, but I do look more mature than 20. I often receive guesses as old as 28, and as young as 21. People never expect to hear me say that I am under 21 (which is probably why I don't get carded, even when I'm barely wearing any makeup and just jeans and a t-shirt). What is it about me that makes them think this? Why am I able to have confidence in my state-of-mind, yet doubt an lack confidence in my physical being? Not only that, but how can I allow my state-of-mind confidence leak into my physical confidence?
This post seems to be questions without answers, but it's what is on my mind and I felt it was a wonderful topic worth sharking!
Peace, Love, and Happiness!
